Sunday, December 17, 2017

Bionic Woman


I'm home now. Well, I'm at my moms and have been since probably lunch time on Thursday but boy has this been a wild ride. Check in time was 6:30 AM. I am not a morning person. At all. Stayed with mom the night before and bathed with the hibiclense the night before and the morning of. Got to the hospital, checked in and waited in the cath lab waiting room with mom for probably 20 minutes when the nurse came and got me. She put the IV right above my thumb. They don't like putting it in the bends for comfort and they wanted to put it on the side with the device. They also had me pee in a cup to check for pregnancy. Then they put on numerous sticky patches that they used and some they didn't (ECG) in case one set/site fails, plus the defibrillator patches on my front and back. Once in the lab I scooted over onto the bed/table thing and they put the arm tables and then put arm restraints on me so I didn't move or grab the doctors or anything. Then they gave me versed and fentanyl for conscious sedation. That's the last thing I remember. Mom said I was awake when she got back to recovery but I don't remember anything.

The pain meds they gave me and the zofran barely took the edge off so I was getting morphine every 2 hours and as such I spent much of my hospital stay nauseated and asleep. For some reason pain meds make me ill. Either my sugar drops or my bp or I get super nauseated. It's no fun. I'd brought my phone and headphones with hulu, a word search, sudoku, everything. All I did was sleep. I had the TV on in the room but the volume all the way down. I have so many marks on me it isn't funny. The IV stopped working in my thumb so all in all I was poked 4 times with 2 IVs. My night nurse was super nice and handsome. Figures you see nice looking people when you look like a trash heap.

Anyway, when I got home I still slept for like 2 days off and on. Today is the first day I haven't slept for hours during the day too. Today is also the first day I woke up and felt half way human. I took the big main bandage off like they said, I wonder how long until the steristrips will take. The area between the bandages to my right shoulder is bruised, the IV sites are bruised. But I'm finally on the mend. I did however discover I've been having (or developed after the surgery) non sustained ventricular tachycardia. The nurse ran in and checked on me but said it was only 5 beats. I'm not sure what that means.

Then not last night but the night before I started running a low grade fever, chest pain and shortness of breath etc. I went to the ER because I feared infection or blood clot (familu history). My d-dimer was positive so I had to have a CT scan which was clear as well as the chest xray was normal. They said it was just musculoskeletal pain. Yesterday my back locked up and I spent the day on the couch but today I feel much better. I just wonder if and when its working and what it feels like.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

So Close, Yet So Far

3.5 weeks left until my pacemaker surgery. I haven't even begun to plan for it. Ok well I've done all kinds of planing but haven't actually done anything. I've talked to some family and friends about childcare and the trip to/from the hospital but nothing is set in stone. And I've started noting what to pack in my hospital bag as I'll be staying over night as well as pre-hospital prep. I guess planing is a decent first step. So far I haven't been too afraid or anxious. I kinda wish it'd hurry but it's creeping. Creeping and looming on the horizon. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage recovery as a single mom with kids dependent on me. Granted the older 2 girls can help so I hope it won't be too hard and it'll be right at Christmas break so I won't have to get up at 6 AM every morning. I can do this.


Sunday, November 12, 2017

It's Been A While

So I figured it'd been a minute, probably time to update. God's know enough has happened in the last 2 years. 

6 months after my last post, my husband walked out on us. Suffice it to say it had been going in that direction anyway but the events after that post were snowballing out of control and the avalanche that followed, I'm still picking up the pieces. He had issues that he needed to work through and he still does but he's working on them. I guess. I have the children 98% of the time based upon his actions but it is what it is. Our divorce should be final soon. 

I was denied disability and the appeals because I don't always know I've passed out and I don't always report them to my cardio (lesson learned) AND because I have a penchant for saying I'm ok at check ups instead of detailing everything that's plagued me between check ups. Again, lesson learned. I started volunteering with a non-profit and may be hired soon. Possibly. 

I've had more nasty episodes thanks to my handy dandy Neurocardiogenic Syncope. The most recent being a week (and a day) ago. My heart stopped (paused) again and I quit breathing. Two RNs happened to be there (I was getting food with the girls), one of which has POTS. The POTSy RN even began compressions before I came to. The first thing I can clearly remember was her asking me if I have POTS. I hit my head and had a very mild (but annoying) concussion. I'd had a dizzy spell/very brief blackout earlier like I'd had in the past that wound up with skinned knees, followed by some severe vertigo that I'd thought had passed. I'd become complacent with the NCS as it hasn't been too active lately. I suppose in a way it was luck or fate though, having those nurses there, having one of them be a POTSy. I'm not sure if I'd have gotten the same results had it not happened like that and had I not gone to the ER (twice, once for the syncope/asystole, once for the concussion since they never even checked the night before). But it did and has. Which leads me to the most recent. 

I'm getting a pacemaker next month. I'm not sure if I should say "finally" or not but it's been looming over the horizon since my first tilt test/visit back when I was like 22. I'm 28 now and in 1 month I'll be preparing for surgery. I'm not terrified. Yet. Or maybe that's the anxiety meds. Or maybe I'm kinda numb to it since it's been 18 years. Or maybe it just hasn't sunk in (my appointment was Friday, followup with my cardio after the spell last week, and that's when we scheduled it). Right now I'm in preparation/obsession/research mode. 28 with a pacemaker. Damn.