Monday, December 24, 2012

Sick and Family

I'm sick of being sick. I know that doesn't change it but still. Today my GERD is on the fritz so I'm bloated, burping popcorn (taste, this is why I don't like popcorn) and making frequent restroom trips. I need to get this managed. I've taken 4 OTC strength prilosec in two days.

Not like I can do much. Big Daddy checked and the transmission is full of fluid. My neuro appt is in 10 days. I need to get a referral to a new GYN singe my favorite one no longer accepts my HMO. MAYBE I need to do something about this too. Burping/gas isn't on any official GERD symptoms list I've found but all forums say their doctors told them it was and that combined with gastro symptoms is what sent me to the hospital which led to the diagnosis. Is this normal GERD or do I have a more severe case. I don't know. Hard to tell.

I no longer feel as though I'm going to throw up so I'm assuming it has to do with a combination of acid and the amount of gas that results. Tons of burping and other not pleasant symptoms reduce the amount of gas and while I'm still burping (etc) and feel like crap, I don't currently feel like my stomach will expload or like I'm going to puke. I know, this post is so lovely, but it is what it is.
On top of that, I'm having mild to moderate with the people in my life. I was talking to Mom the other day and we got to talking about religion and why I don't go to church. The reasons are very emotional and private so I won't go into it here, at least not now. Anyway that also tied into a conversation about my health. Apparently she's been under the impression I stopped being active and THEN got sick. How she reached that conclusion since I've been sick to sime degree since childhood I'll never know. Apparently that's a common belief about me. Everyone thinks if I "get off my lazy ass" (though to be fair, *most* people say it nicer than that) that I'll get better. I shut it down with her fast. I hope not rudely but I didn't hand hold. I told her I didn't get sick from not being active, I stopped being active because I got sick. I reminded her I never could clean my room normally, I'd have to sit and clean one area then scoot to the next (bending over is huge on my can't do list), even before I "got sick" and back then I could run, go long distances, climb trees. Normal activities for a child. I was sick then, and active. And when I started passing out, those first 5 years I was VERY active. We lived at the beach, I'd go swimming, I was too young for a car and so I walked LOOOOOOONG distances with no issue. I was sick then too. I reminded her of moving here when I was 15, how I was active then. I'd hang out with friends and go places. Again, I was sick then, and active.

By the time I was 16 the insomnia and hypersomnia had made an appearance and though it didn't bug me much then, tachycardia showed up while pregnant. I only know that because of frequent preterm labor episodes where they'd pick up my heart while trying to find hers and get freaked because it was higher than normal for me but too low for a baby. I was active then. By 17, I had my first heart palpitation. I was tired and losing steam then though I didn't know why. I was chasing a baby then too. Still active and "pushing" through it. By 18/19, during my pregnancy with DCourtly, the tachy REALLY ramped up. After it didn't really go away but went back to "manageable". Again, I was active but getting weaker. I had TWO babies, and after a while I got a job at a hospital working 12 hour shifts as a patient care tech on the cardiac floor (har har on that one). I only sat on breaks and to chart. The ENTIRE 12 hours. Well, technically longer since you were suppised to get there 15 minutes early and sometimes had to stay late. Still active, but again, losing steam. The biggest difference there was our house we rented was one floor not two like all the apartments. However those 12+ hours drained me and I couldn't do both. I quit. When we moved where we are now 10 months later I was still active but again, slowly losing steam. I didn't really notice as it was gradual.
But then I got pregnant with JSmiley and it hit HARD. Passing out, pre-syncope, severe tachycardia and SOB, everything. I haven't recovered since. So no. I did not just get lazy and waste away and THEN get sick. Seriously?

And looking back, steps always gave me a problem. Even when I was super active I'd get short of breath. Climbing did too but I was too young to notice I wasn't "right". Oh well. This is long enough without going into others except to say Big Daddy has taken to complaining that I'm "always sick". Well yeah, that's kind of what chronic means. As to my simetimes good days... I have multiple chronic conditions. I'm usually tachy or something, or dizzy, or GERD, or a migraine, or narcolepsy, etc. And then you have common illnesses that most people deal with. Flu, cold, bronchitis, sinusitis, pneumonia, gastroenteritis, etc. I get those too. So while he only gets the "normal" ailments and "I'm only sick every so often", that's all fine and dandy but you don't have chronic conditions on TOP of that. So yes, I'm "always" sick. I'm texting him a screen shot of the definition of chronic.
chron·ic -
1. (of an illness) Persisting for a long time or constantly recurring.
2. (of a person) Having such an illness.

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