It's been a few days. A lot of contributing factors, bad health, bad emotional health, busy, bored. All in one week. But I have blog fodder so hi again!
My girls are finally over their sickies thankfully. J had a little trouble fighting hers off though. I may bring it up in June at her 1 year appt. I've never had to do 2 courses of treatments for my kids before. S is now 6 and D will be 4 tomorrow! I'm glad it's spring finally, being stuck inside is a drag.
I finally gave in and went to see my primary doctor, Dr. R. She's ok overall but I have my reservations. Not anything grand, she's pretty good about giving me referrals that I ask for, I just can't appear vulnerable or Dr. Knows-It-All kicks in. This is why I feel it's important to RESEARCH until my eyes bleed (not literally). I've found that if you're at least partially knowledgeable, know what doctor you want referred to (and can make a case as to why and back it up) or what tests you want (same reasoning), unless you have an evil doctor, you stand a pretty good chance of getting what you request. I've had good luck getting referrals. It's only when I'm vulnerable or caught off guard that a doctor treats me as if I'm mistaken (except that one guy who yelled at me, I knew what it wasn't, he was just a jerk).
I caved and asked for a sleep study. I haven't seen Dr. R since I've gotten my NCS dx. It also helps to be taken seriously if you have at least one dx, even doctors who previously ignored your symptoms as normal will give you more credit. Unless they're jerks (some doctors are, no helping it). I still feel kind of uncomfortable around her. I think the only doctor I'm truly comfortable around a vast majority of the time is my OB/GYN, and that's probably because he treats me like an intelligent person instead of a chart to be dictated to. And it could possibly have something to do with the fact that it's kind of hard to be uneasy around someone who spent quite an extensive period of time working in or around your nether regions..... Or a combination. Anyway.
I almost chickened out. I was gung ho about the appointment when it was set but the night before I got really anxious and doubtful. That's common practice for me. If there is a delay and I have ample time to think on something. I. Freak. Out. Case(s) in point.
1. Sleep study referral appointment - Sounded like an excellent idea, had a friend talk me through my anxiety about it. Night before, started to second guess everything.
2. My appointment next month with Dr. K - I'm afraid he will brush me off like in 2008 (I'm still working under the assumption that it's the same man, I'll feel silly if it isn't, but I'm pretty sure I am right). Usually I get this way (the whoa is me, they'll never take me seriously) and I'm USUALLY pleasantly surprised when they do help. But he's the same guy (probably) who just brushed me off after ONE test. That I couldn't take. Well and the echo. I forgot that's when I had my first echo.
3. Dr. M in August - I'm not too afraid of that one but it's still 4 months away. I am afraid but it's still very "Out of sight, out of mind".
Dr. R also had her lab draw 2 vials of blood. One was for thyroid which I've had checked at least once probably more, but not recently (I believe it was checked in 2010 and was normal last I checked). And I think there was also a CBC. I go back in 3 months (presumably to review my sleep study results, I hope I get the blood results via phone or mail before that). Though surely if my labs are abnormal they'll call asap. I think I'll keep track of testing better. Too bad I can't think of all the dates of earlier tests. I want to get a copy of my medical records though. It feels like it'd be hard. I have a plethora of doctors here plus 2 hospital systems (and 3 hospitals that I've been to, if not more, there's too many to keep track). And that's just 1 of 3 states. I've been told my infant/toddler records aren't much help though so maybe it's better 1 of 2 states.
I REALLY want to compare my echocardiogram reports. 1st I got "normal/fine" 2nd I got "normal/fine" until I read the report they'd mailed to give to my OB and found out they meant 1 of 2 things (give or take). 1 being they thought it was caused by the increased blood volume due to my pregnancy with J (Dr. T told me that) which is why I had him repeat it after I had her or that they felt it wasn't an issue (as I've heard a million times in regards to my mitral valve prolapse/murmurs/tachycardia). That's not fine/normal. That's just not as troublesome. Stop mincing words. If I'm healthy, say normal. If I'm unhealthy but ok, say the test results showed areas that are "within acceptable parameters" or something. Don't have me think I jumped through that hoop for nothing only to back track with a "what we meant is" when I have to hunt you down for clarification as to why you told me one thing and the report I'm holding in my hand indicates something else.
Perhaps my biggest obstacle in being taken serious (other than my age and that blasted "But you look healthy") was the fact that the first 2 times, I was pregnant so they assumed that was the cause and it'd go back to normal. Thankfully Dr. T was a little more willing to listen (since I could tell him it didn't stop after pregnancy with D), when I saw Dr. K in 08 they never once bothered to get me back in or mentioned it possibly being pregnancy related or I'd have told them differently (side note to doctors, THIS is why it's important that you COMMUNICATE your thoughts/reasonings with us and not DICTATE to us). I honestly thought the testing I'd done and his findings (slim as they were with the 1 test I did, the 1 I couldn't and what history I had at that point) indicated the problem was else where. I also had no clue that my fainting and my tachycardia were even REMOTELY related. If it hadn't ramped up when I was pregnant with J, I might still not know it was connected. It's difficult when the first half is apparently just syncope then after S I had the palpitations start. Then when I got pregnant with D it was tachycardia, then it eased off (but not the syncope) only for it all to come crashing down in a daily fight while pregnant with J (which is why I laugh when I hear "it might get better with age". Does that history look like it's getting BETTER? But I digress, Dr. T said that it was pregnancy related, I informed him otherwise, he brushed me off but got me back in after J was 3 months old "to give my body/blood/hormones time to regulate". He honestly expected it to be gone. Hahahahaha. SURPRISE DOC!!!!! I was right. :/ I love it when I'm right. Kind of. It's not even that he thought I wasn't telling the truth, I had proof I had tachycardia. I have MULTIPLE ER visits from fainting. He just thought it wasn't related or bothersome. He didn't even bother telling me not to drive until February of this year (when he looked at the tilt table results) and I've been seeing him since February of LAST year. And I'm WORSE during pregnancy (hello doc obvious).
Spring has arrived and my schedule exploded. And of course, by that I mean, I went from doing nothing 7 days a week to maybe 1 thing a day, 2 counting doctors. And day 1 (Tuesday) kicked my rear! Sad thing is, it was basically nothing. S and D had dental appointments. 1 hour worth. Got dizzy if I tried standing up so I sat 90% of the appointment. (S has her 1st loose tooth, although it's not just 1, it's 6 - omg. D has 2 kind of loose teeth.) Came home. Took K to the ball field to practice with his old team (3 hours after the dentist so it wasn't back to back). Sat for 90% of 4 hours (1 of which was at my moms). The next day I spent in bed. Yesterday was my appointment at 2. Again ball field for 3 hours. Sitting. Sitting. Sitting. Today I don't want to get up.
Last night was bad emotionally. It's probably been leading up to it, this month