Little of Everything

World Breastfeeding Week is August 1 - 7. I'm sad that this will be my last year participating. At least for several years (if not indefinitely). I've decided to postpone starting meds until this weekend. Big Daddy would take about an hour to get home if I needed him and that's assuming he was working near the shop. I could've started today and my neighbor could check on me if I reacted badly but tomorrow it'll be just me and the munchkins for several hours with no one to help if I need it. I figured this way, Big Daddy will be off work and can help me out until I see how the meds affect me.

But I'm dealing with mild engorgement so I let JSmiley nurse once today and maybe once tomorrow. I'm undecided. I wasn't going to but she wanted it and engorgement is uncomfortable. Since Sunday at 8 PM, she didn't nurse that night at all (I was at the sleep center) or Monday until 6 PM (same reason) then once late that night/early the next morning (like probably 1 AM) then none Tuesday or Wednesday. Once today and that's it. So at least I got to participate during my last World Breastfeeding Week. Seeing all the pictures people are posting in my mommy groups are making me sad knowing it's over for us.

WHOOPS! Totally started a blog post yesterday morning (it's almost 2:30 AM) and forgot to finish and publish. I'm glad I put off starting meds because apparently you have to stay sitting up for a while on one of them. I spend about 80% of my day laying flat or lounging. How much "up" do I need to be? Should I sit mostly upright with my back to the back of the couch or will propped up with pillows, lounging, work? All I REMEMBER being told is to take it in the morning and around 4 or 5 in the evening. Apparently when I say "I have no energy" he didn't realize that meant "sitting upright is a chore, a chore I have no energy for." Also that "my sleep schedule is so messed up it's crazy" meant "sometimes it's morning before I even fall asleep".

The post I saw online said her doctor told her not to lay down for 6 HOURS after taking Midodrine. Wtf? REALLY? Also, he told me to do recumbent exercises like the bike etc "like the ones that recline, the more layed back, the better". Basically he said to get the little ones (easier on me) since the upright ones would probably be too much to handle. I asked about yoga (remember it's on my "maybe I'll do this to occupy my chronically ill life" list) and he said "Maybe, some of it requires too much on your part " Great. How can I admit I'M TOO SICK FOR YOGA. That kind of works in my favor. Big Daddy is always "push yourself" and "I think you can do more than you admit" (he still has some trouble grasping the limitations, he's getting there). He was at the appointment (which btw included a young student doctor who looked younger than me, baby face and nervousness) and heard him say it. I can do what now? I'm not "that sick" say what? You heard the doctor, most yoga is too hard. Granted a lot of it takes working up to, is advanced etc. Maybe I can do some beginner? I don't know.

As proof of my "can't stay upright" thing, when I started this addition to this post, I was upright. I'm now slouched to the side at a 60ish° angle with my elbow propped on/supported by a pile of blankets, one leg tucked under the other, the other propped up, knee to toes roughly level with my right shoulder. Kind of comfortable to be honest. Granted part of the slouching could be that I'm tired. (I actually fell asleep before 11!!) But I woke up around 12:30 for some reason (seriously, they HAVE to figure out wtf is waking me up at night and stop it) and despite being bleary eyed originally, I got wide awake. I think I'll go back to sleep shortly.