I haven't felt well lately. Nothing new there. I'm getting tired of fighting and especially of getting no where. I'm tired of feeling like no one cares. R told me yesterday "I care, I just don't show it." I fail to see how that helps me. I suffer alone. Sure he brings me food occasionally and helps with the big 2 and occasionally J but it's not enough. When I'm in pain I get no help except "take something" or "stop breastfeeding and get on your meds". When I'm depressed or anxious, I get nothing. When I need someone, he isn't there. It's been like that so I've pretty much stopped telling him a lot. I feel like I have no one fully. I suppose I should just take what I can get but it hurts. When I'm feeling down or anxious all I want is to be held. I want sympathy. I want understanding. Even if he can't do anything, just having warm strong arms wrapped around me and some sympathy and love would go a long way. My diagnosis is recent despite suffering for 13 years and maybe he is in denial. I don't know. I just wish he could understand. I may be grown up but I still need his help. And not just with the physical stuff that I can't do. I don't know what to do. He already feels like he does too much. I know I can't do this without his help but I need more. I just don't know.
It's a bad week. Bad everything. Depression and anxiety. Dizziness. Plain headaches. Migraines. Pain. Nausea. Stress. Just everything. What can I do.